Monday, November 26, 2007

I can't seem to focus on anything this morning. I keep coming over to my computer to look at Megan's face. I can't hear her voice but at least I can look at her face.

My house is a pile of filth and squalor.

What does squalor mean anyway?
Let me look it up...
Okay, this is the definition as given by www.dictionary.com:
squalor- n. A filthy and wretched condition or quality.

Yes, that describes my house right now. It is beyond horrid. Every surface is dirty. The kitchen floor looks like we all ate ice cream and dripped it on the floor. There are dishes piled up begging to be washed. My van is stuffed full of suitcases needing to be taken out and unpacked. I need to make a menu and a list and go to the grocery store. But instead I keep coming over here to the computer.

I have managed to make some coffee, put on Christmas music, dig all of the dirty laundry out of the hampers and hiding spots, sort the laundry into huge piles on the kitchen floor, and start a load. I also managed to take my children to school this morning, the ones who are well anyway. I have 2 children in bed today with sore throats and coughing. Ugh.

I am going to have to give myself a break and take it easy. My heart is broken. My mind is numb. Any little thing I get done is going to have to be enough.

The baby is awake now and crying in his bed. Gotta go.

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2 comments:

ann said...

I'm so sorry for your pain. Nothing I can say would make it any better, but please know that I am praying for your family. I pray that God give you peace and the ability to cope with such a huge loss.
In His Love and Blessings,
annb

burrsmom said...

Just take it one step at a time. God is with you every step of the way. She will always in your thoughts but it does get easier.