Facing Discouragement and Fatigue
I am faced with the issue of discouragement quite often. For example, when I get a room tidied up and then look behind me to find Baby Girl making a mess in that newly cleaned room. That discourages me. Or when I walk into my boys’ bedroom to find that I can’t walk into the room because of all the clothes (clean and dirty mixed together) and toys scattered on the floor. Those things discourage me.
Christian motherhood and wifehood is a very challenging job. The nitty gritty details of everyday life seem so insignificant, yet they are what make our house a home, what make these nine people a family. Doing the dishes, tying shoe laces for the thousandth time because this kid will not learn to tie them on his own, taking out the trash, making my bed, reading a Bible story at breakfast, making sure dh and I have time together- all of these things are my service to the Lord and to my family. I know that. And I love that. I love that my job is to shape little hearts for Jesus. My job is to help my husband and take care of him. I love this wonderful occupation God has called me to.
Knowing all of this, why am I so discouraged and disheartened this morning? I hate it when I feel this way. It just doesn’t make sense. Knowing what a wonderful life I have, what a wonderful husband I have, what great children I have, feeling discouraged and depressed makes no sense. But it is what it is and this is how I am feeling this morning.
I started feeling this way yesterday afternoon. Baby Girl was making messes every time I turned my back! I left her alone in the kitchen eating a pb and honey sandwich while I wrote a quick thank you note that I had forgotten to write from Christmas. In about 3 minutes time, she had taken the lid off the honey, crawled under the table, and poured it out onto the floor, where she was eagerly eating it…off...the…floor. Ewww! I promptly disciplined her for that and put her in bed while I cleaned up the mess. While I was cleaning up the mess, she got out of her bed, went into my bathroom, got my conditioner, went back to bed, and poured conditioner on the bed, under the covers. She then got out the baby wipes and attempted to clean it all up. She did a pretty good job actually, but that is beside the point.
At this point, Baby was screaming because he is cutting his top front teeth and he just doesn’t feel well. I attempted to give him ibuprofen, but he spit it out all over his outfit. He then got put in bed as well.
Another issue that is discouraging to me is the fact that we have a few mice in our house. Gross!! The last time we had a mouse problem was when we were first married and lived in Norman, OK, in a tiny cute house. I saw a mouse, put out a trap, got it, end of story. This time, they seem to be multiplying. We have traditional traps, glue traps, and 2 different kinds of poison (hidden away from the kids’ reach), yet we still are seeing mice. The boys think it si great, Mommy does NOT think it is great. I am disgusted by mice. I feel like I must not be doing a good enough job of keeping the house clean. I try to keep all food cleaned up, but with 7 children, two of them under the age of 3, food gets spilled on the floor, taken into the living room, etc. I feel like this is war and the little creatures (the mice, not the children) are winning!
Okay, there you have it. All of these things have led to my discouragement I am feeling this morning. Last night I just wanted to get out of ehre, so I went to the store to buy coffee, a few Valentine’s cards, and fill up dh’s truck with gas. I stayed gone for about an hour, and came home to a big mess. Dh is a great hubby and daddy, but he doesn’t exactly clean up too well. That’s okay; I love him despite this flaw (smile). This morning I am still dealing with the mess, plus I turned off my alarm and slept in for an hour and a half. No Bible time, no prayer time, no shower, the clothes I want to wear are in the dryer, you get the picture.
I am considering two options:
- Ignore the mess and the things I need to do, get dressed, go to Mardel and spend my gift card from Christmas, and go eat lunch with dh (I only have 2 little ones all day today)
- Stay home, start my day over from the beginning and follow my morning routine that I know works so well.
Option 1 sounds much more fun, but I will still face the mess when I get home.
What do you think I should do?
4 comments:
Will you have time for your fun day if you clean the house until it's time to leave to eat lunch with hubby? Then, go to Mardel after that. Unless the kids wouldn't be okay without a nap. Hmmm....I don't know. Even though the mess will still be there when you come home, with no one there (like last night), it won't get any worse...AND, you may feel energized after a day away...AND maybe your two kiddos will lie down for a nap while you clean in the afternoon.
Hmmmm.... :)
Let us know if your day today is any better...
Julie-
I can sympathize with you as I have six kids and your days definitely sound familiar. I haven't had time to read over your whole blog, but I had a few ideas. When one (or more) of our kids seems to have a desire to constantly get into trouble I just keep them at my side all day. I eat next to them, they sit by me when I do school with their older siblings (I give them things to do while they are sitting), I would put them in a high chair next to me if I wanted to type something on the computer or email someone. If I couldn't have them next to me then I would gate them in their room and make sure there wasn't anything in the room that they could use to get into trouble.
I have the same clothes problem with my boys. Currently we have removed all the toys from their room and are storing them in the garage. They only have their beds and dresser in their room. It makes it very easy check for cleanliness. As for the dirty and clean clothes, last summer we started a program called "the maid." We (the three boys and myself) cleaned the room from top to bottom and then took pictures of all the areas in their room. I then put the pictures on the wall next to that area. That way they knew what was expected of them as far as cleaning. Each boy was assigned a several areas in the room. Also that helped dh know what the standards were when he inspected the room. Then every night around 7:30 "the maid"(that's me) would come and check the areas of the room. If they were acceptable each boy was paid a quarter, if not then they had to pay the maid $0.50, and then the maid would have to help them clean the area so it would pass inspection. It only took a few times of paying the maid for them to realize that it was expensive to pay someone else to do your work.
This worked very well for us and the only reason we are not currently doing it is because we have moved and I haven't done it yet.
I would encourage you to make it a priority to get up before your kids, even if it is just enough time to get a shower and be ready for the day. I am a night owl so I do my devotions at night, but I really try and be ready to go before the kids wake up and have breakfast started. My day seems to go much smoother if I am prepared.
Also realize that this is a season of your life. One day there will be no shoelaces to tie or spit up to wash. On days that you feel discouraged remember that eventually the kids will go to bed and you will get some time with your husband and time to unwind from the day.
As far as what to do today, I would try and find a way to do both. Could you clean quickly and still make a lunch date? Will your kids nap in the afternoon and you can catch up later? If you can then I would go, but if going will just make you feel more discouraged and behind then I would probably stay home and get back on schedule.
Sorry for the long winded response. I hope it helped.
Toni
So Julie...you sounded so very relaxed when I talked to you this afternoon. Whichever choice you made...It must have worked!
Love ya
Cheer
I was drawn to your post by your comment on Crystal's blog. It sounded just like me last year. I don't know you, but am praying for you and your precious family. So many little ones with messes every time you turn around can get so discouraging. In hindsight I struggled on and off again with depression for a couple years. Ironically, it was also a time of rich spiritual growth, despite how out of whack my emotions were. Now I am in a better place emotionally and feast daily off all God taught through those challenging days. Praying that you feel His peace and presence, and His tender ways of teaching.
Post a Comment